The more you build a rich talking relationship with your child, the more engaged they will be with you. The more engaged they are, the more responsive they will be to your directions and your parenting. They will be in-tune! The more responsive, the less difficult. There is much more to that story, but creating a rich talking environment is a great place to start. If you want them to be in-tune with you, you have to be in-tune with them first!
You make think that simple talk with a child doesn't do much. But it does! It changes their brain structure EVERY SINGLE TIME. It helps to unite areas in the brain areas creates a sense of integrated selfhood. Here is a list so that next time you are chatting with your little one, you won't feel bored, but inspired by the magic you are working!
1. Play the Giant Mommy/Daddy Plays With Baby Toys Game: Play with them. Yes. With their toys. On their level (the floor). Like a kid (but with a bit more sharing sense). This will naturally lead to social engagement, rich language opportunities, in-tune parenting skill development. This is hard for many parents. Start with 10 minutes a day and build up to as much as you can. All of the following games will come naturally if you just get good and consistent at playing with your child.
2. Play the Goofy Talk Game: While you are doing any household task, driving, or shopping, talk goofily to them, with positive intonation (voice): "Look at that silly cat. Goofy silly goo-goo cat." This grabs and holds their attention both to your voice and to the world around them. Attention is FOUNDATIONAL to all learning. Start early by making the world interesting! Be interesting!
3. Play the Say-it-again-Sam Game: Repeat phrases and words so they can hear them many times.
4. Play the This-Is-Happening Story Telling Game: Describe what you are doing: "I'm just washing washing washing the dishes! So many bubbles! Oops, I dropped the fork! That's ok. There it is."
5. Play the "Is that a ____?" and the "Did you _____" Game: "Is that a puppy?" "Is that your little foot?" "Oh no, did you fall down and go boom?" This habit teaches vocabulary, maintains attention and social engagement, and models question structure. You don't have to expect a verbal response. Your child hears you and is making vital neural connections. Your child may begin to respond "yeah" or "yeah, foot" or "yeah, go boom."
6. Play the "No-no, Silly" Game: When they are good at the "Is that a ____?" Game (#5) you can start asking questions that give them a chance to correct you. For example, "Is that your foot?" may lead them to say "No, my hand!" This activity can be so fun and engaging. If your child doesn't know how to respond like this, it's ok. Just model for them and be fun. "Is that your foot? No no, not your foot. It's your hand. Silly daddy/mommy. I said foot, but it's your hand!"
7. Play the Do-it-Again, Again Game. Whenever you notice that your child thought something you did was funny, say "You want more/again?" and then...do it again. Then if they are still watching, wait until they initiate (making eye contact, saying "again" or "more," or making a gesture like waving their arm) and then do-it-again, again. Keep it going for awhile and try to shift the activity to make it more complex, for further learning and deeper engagement.
8. Play the Little Helper Game: Involve your child in whatever task you are doing (shopping, going to the bank, visiting a neighbor, cleaning the kitchen, laundry, cooking). Rather than handing them a phone/youtube to give yourself a break, give them something to do that is helpful. Even if it makes you take more time, you are building their attention and engagement. If you are at the store, give them the items to put in the cart. If you are cooking, give them a wooden spoon to stir a pretend soup in a plastic bowl. Tell them they are a good "holder" or "cleaner" or "soup maker" etc.
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You make think that simple talk with a child doesn't do much. But it does! It changes their brain structure EVERY SINGLE TIME. It helps to unite areas in the brain areas creates a sense of integrated selfhood. Here is a list so that next time you are chatting with your little one, you won't feel bored, but inspired by the magic you are working!
1. Play the Giant Mommy/Daddy Plays With Baby Toys Game: Play with them. Yes. With their toys. On their level (the floor). Like a kid (but with a bit more sharing sense). This will naturally lead to social engagement, rich language opportunities, in-tune parenting skill development. This is hard for many parents. Start with 10 minutes a day and build up to as much as you can. All of the following games will come naturally if you just get good and consistent at playing with your child.
2. Play the Goofy Talk Game: While you are doing any household task, driving, or shopping, talk goofily to them, with positive intonation (voice): "Look at that silly cat. Goofy silly goo-goo cat." This grabs and holds their attention both to your voice and to the world around them. Attention is FOUNDATIONAL to all learning. Start early by making the world interesting! Be interesting!
3. Play the Say-it-again-Sam Game: Repeat phrases and words so they can hear them many times.
4. Play the This-Is-Happening Story Telling Game: Describe what you are doing: "I'm just washing washing washing the dishes! So many bubbles! Oops, I dropped the fork! That's ok. There it is."
5. Play the "Is that a ____?" and the "Did you _____" Game: "Is that a puppy?" "Is that your little foot?" "Oh no, did you fall down and go boom?" This habit teaches vocabulary, maintains attention and social engagement, and models question structure. You don't have to expect a verbal response. Your child hears you and is making vital neural connections. Your child may begin to respond "yeah" or "yeah, foot" or "yeah, go boom."
6. Play the "No-no, Silly" Game: When they are good at the "Is that a ____?" Game (#5) you can start asking questions that give them a chance to correct you. For example, "Is that your foot?" may lead them to say "No, my hand!" This activity can be so fun and engaging. If your child doesn't know how to respond like this, it's ok. Just model for them and be fun. "Is that your foot? No no, not your foot. It's your hand. Silly daddy/mommy. I said foot, but it's your hand!"
7. Play the Do-it-Again, Again Game. Whenever you notice that your child thought something you did was funny, say "You want more/again?" and then...do it again. Then if they are still watching, wait until they initiate (making eye contact, saying "again" or "more," or making a gesture like waving their arm) and then do-it-again, again. Keep it going for awhile and try to shift the activity to make it more complex, for further learning and deeper engagement.
8. Play the Little Helper Game: Involve your child in whatever task you are doing (shopping, going to the bank, visiting a neighbor, cleaning the kitchen, laundry, cooking). Rather than handing them a phone/youtube to give yourself a break, give them something to do that is helpful. Even if it makes you take more time, you are building their attention and engagement. If you are at the store, give them the items to put in the cart. If you are cooking, give them a wooden spoon to stir a pretend soup in a plastic bowl. Tell them they are a good "holder" or "cleaner" or "soup maker" etc.
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